My Blog

I have taken a demotion in one of my roles and I am feeling the benefits. I’d like to explain why I feel that in taking a step down I have been able to step up.

I have always been a great believer in the expression that ‘you don’t get if you don’t ask’. When I was 16, my family moved to Runcorn from Fleetwood; I had a long summer holiday ahead of me and a brand-new bedroom that I wanted to furnish. So I took myself around the shops in Runcorn Shopping City and simply asked for a job. After about the fourth request, the manager of the stationery and newspaper store, John Menzies, offered me work. It would be a Saturday job from September, when I would be in the 6^th form and plenty of work over the summer to cover colleagues on holiday. I remember being so proud of my first pay slip of £35.00 and then going to the newly opened IKEA store and getting myself a desk and chest of drawers.

Fast forward to 2016, when I was looking for work again. I did not want to go back into teaching and I wanted something flexible so that I could be available for any invitations to speak at conferences. My PA work for Mike was quiet as he was spending weeks at a time over in the USA, so I walked to the businesses at the centre of our village and again asked for work. The manager at the second place I asked agreed that he would find it useful to have someone to call upon ‘as and when’. Following approval from the regional manager, I began the next week as a Customer Service Assistant.

It wasn’t long before I had a contract for 24 hours a week and became a shift manager. This agreement remained in place in order that my 3 x 8-hour shifts could be arranged around any speaking engagements that came in. It was good to know that my main purpose in life around speaking on perinatal mental health was valued and supported. I had a good balance of exciting travel and events along with working from home as a PA and also a bookkeeper for The DISC Group. In contrast, I enjoyed the contact with people in my locality. I loved the contrast between being a keynote speaker one day – and the next, stacking shelves!

Fast forward again to the pandemic. In the early part of 2020 all my other work was cancelled. Thankfully then, my shop role was very needed as I was classified as a Key Worker. It was incredibly busy with goods flying off the shelves almost as soon as we filled them. The footfall was huge as people preferred to ‘nip’ to us rather than queue outside the local Tesco. Rather than two people per shift we needed three to manage. For quite a few weeks I was working full-time there. Both Mike and my son joined the team there as the store policy changed to allow family and friends to be employed on a temporary basis. It was reassuring knowing that we were helping the community.

Once Mike and I contracted COVID-19 on the same day of 20^th April 2020, all work ceased for us both. After the initial infection, that summer was one of ‘dressing gowns’ as getting dressed required energy we didn’t have. Little by little we improved. I had regular updates with the shop manager and HR representative. It was very clear that both my physical and mental health had been affected. The confident and efficient Elaine had vanished. In her place was a much weaker version. The decision was made for me to return on a phased schedule. I would have to use my holiday allowance to cover the hours I was unable to work. My first shift back was 25^th October.

My first fear was being around people. After being at home for 6 months, I was nervous about being with others. I had suffered with anxiety during my illness and was still having counselling when I returned to the shop. In many ways, I was self-sabotaging my return as I kept comparing the previous me to the current one. I struggled with so many of the basic requirements of the role. Using the till was difficult as I would get ‘brain fog’ about which buttons to press. If a customer asked for more than two items from behind the counter, I would feel like a rabbit-in-the-headlights and panic. As the shop was still very busy, I also felt I was flapping if there were more than two people waiting. Physically I was very slow. I had to ask if I could focus on the light items to restock that were close to the till because I could not rush back to serve someone or get up quickly; I would literally gasp for breath many times from behind my mask.

Mike would drive me to and from the shop even though it is only a few minutes’ walk away from home. I would watch the clock and count the minutes until my shift ended. On a ‘shop’ day, I could do nothing else apart from my shift and would need to rest most of the following day. All the time I was shaming myself that I was useless and pathetic. Other people appeared to bounce back very quickly from COVID. Why was I making a drama out of it? My counselling continued as my shifts increased and I was now under the care of the Long COVID clinic.

It became very clear that I would be better resigning my shift manager position. I felt too nervous to take on the responsibility of the role. I had to work hard to concentrate at giving the correct change to customers so having to do banking, etc. terrified me! I also asked to reduce my hours to 16 a week. This also meant that I could spend more time with my parents. Once the decision was made I then had to adjust to being an ex-shift manager and working with a number of much younger colleagues some of who I had initially trained.

So what I have learned about myself and how might this help others?

1.Honesty

I needed support and was given it by the company. I feel I asked to step down before it was suggested to me. By pretending I was fully recovered, when I was clearly struggling, would have caused me so much stress. My manager needed someone she could trust with the role. I wasn’t able to fulfil it at that time.

2. Self-reflection

In retrospect, I realise that I was far from a relaxed shift manager to work with! In my desire to be a perfectionist and so compliant, I can see now how I must have been a pain to work with. For example, there is a guidance that after 8.30 p.m. no new stock is put out and the focus has to be on making sure the shop is tidy. I would still be wanting to put things much later because I felt I ‘had to’ empty a cage of stock. If a task was ‘on the list’, I would be compelled to do it. In doing so I put unnecessary pressure on myself and colleagues.

3. Calm and efficient

Working with my colleagues now, I am so much more relaxed, and hopefully much better to be with. I am very happy to take their lead and do my best to ensure that they feel empowered in their role and supported by me as opposed to criticised. As the months have passed, I feel that we work well together and the tasks still get done. I understand so much better now that we are a team and that tasks CAN be carried over to the next shift if needed.

4. Satisfaction

Instead of watching the minutes tick by, I love to keep busy. I find stacking shelves very therapeutic and take pride in a tidy row of items! I have always enjoyed being organised, so this role allows me to do this and be paid for it. Previously I had wanted to do the administration side of the shop and lead. I now enjoy being led and being useful in different ways.

I love the people aspect of being a Customer Service Assistant. I find joy in helping others. I hope some of the ways I do this may be useful to others:

• Offer a distraction to a small child who is on the brink of a tantrum to ease the stress for their parent. I love to suggest that they ‘hold the bread’ or whatever is appropriate. It feels really good to defuse the situation and it is great to see them both leave the shop happy.
• We have many elderly customers and I like to give them time and patience to fumble with their change or chat about something. It is a reality that we may be the only people they speak to all day, so even if it is only a few moments, I want to make it count.
• I will come out from behind the till to open the door for someone with a heavy bag, pushing a pram or on crutches. There is great satisfaction in knowing that a small kindness may have improved someone’s day.
• If a think a complimentary thought, for example, about an item of clothing that someone is wearing, I shall tell them. It is good to make someone smile.
• When asked for a product by a customer, I shall always investigate or suggest an alternative. It is pleasing to us both if the desired item is found. Likewise, if I see someone looking ‘lost’ I ask if I may help and attempt to do so.
• I find that eye contact and a smile is always appreciated. This is very relevant when wearing a mask. A second to acknowledge a person is so easy to do.

These are just some of my actions that in helping others have also helped in my recovery. Both mentally and physically I am so much better. The joy of waking with some energy is something I now cherish. By stepping down I know I have stepped up again in my confidence and abilities. Adjusting self-expectations has been rewarding. Easing the pressure on myself has enabled me to grow again. It has been a success 🙂

Recently I was serving at the till when I heard a small child singing a Christmas carol in the store (it was several weeks after Christmas). When she did come to the till she chatted to me about what she had chosen. Her blonde curls were as bouncy as she was! She had impeccable manners and I complimented her father on them. As they left, the lady next in the queue commented on how the little girl had lifted her spirits. As the door opened with a new customer, her made the remark that he had just seen a little girl who had brightened his day! The child made me reflect upon the impact and legacy and we can have, simply by being ourselves.

Do you lift the mood of others?

I’ve found that by taking simple actions, it is possible to do so. And it then helps me.

What can you do today to make someone smile?

Elaine 🙂