My Blog

Sometimes we need to reflect and notice the significance of what might initially seem to be a small thing and use it as a step forward. I wrote a to-do-list last week – the first one I have done in almost 2 years! Even better is that I achieved everything on it apart from one task that has been carried over. I didn’t appreciate the significance of it until a few minutes ago and it has prompted me to get out of bed at 6 a.m. to blog for the first time in ages. I feel I want to share my thoughts and experiences again to encourage others to keep on keeping on.

For so long I know I have been in a fog of ‘can’t be bothered’. I simply did not have either energy or enthusiasm to do very much and could become very overwhelmed at small things. Even the thought of writing a list was too much, let alone doing anything on it. Like many, I have retreated into a bubble of home and closest family. Initially we have been forced to do so by the pandemic. From our shock at our liberties being “taken” from us, I feel that many of us have become used to wearing comfy clothes and staying in. Yet I feel the stirrings of ‘the old me’ emerging and it is exciting. Perhaps it is time to start planning again? Perhaps it is time to begin to make plans again?

Before I move on and write another list for this week, I’d love to share where I have been since I first caught COVID-19 in April 2020. Just before the pandemic I had been the keynote speaker at a major psychiatric conference in the Middle East addressing 800 delegates. Within months I had not only lost my physical health, but my mental health also plunged. The weeks turned into months of Long-COVID during which time everything was an effort. Perhaps I shall write in more detail about this period another time. For now, let’s just leave it there.

Towards the end of 2020, I did return back to another of my jobs at a local convenience store for a few hours a week. It had to be on a phased return and I asked to step down as a shift manager to being a customer service assistant. I had to accept and adapt to the reality that physically I did not have the same stamina as pre-COVID and mentally I could not operate at my previous level. There are lessons I have learned in that role that I shall also expand upon another time.

My focus for 2021 was to be well enough to get married! Our planned date in September 2020 was postponed as we were still very fatigued. Mike, my fiancé, was unwell at the same time as me with COVID-19. That’s another topic to expand on! We rearranged our wedding for dates in November, then January; then May and finally had a fabulous day on 3^rd July. Each time of planning and rearranging was a rollercoaster. There were all the pandemic rules to adhere to in addition to coordinating our suppliers and guests. The wedding weekend was magical, and even though we had to limit our guest list, it was a very special day. It was featured in Bride magazine, if you’d like to know more. https://tinyurl.com/ybyvesrx

My new name is Elaine Coote.

Following our wedding we had a wonderful honeymoon in Cornwall and felt that we were starting married life healthier than we had been for over a year. I’d had counselling to help with the anxiety that Long-COVID had left me with and I was finally enjoying being out and about again. Feeling the sand between my toes on Cornish beaches whilst holding my husband’s hand brought such a blissful feeling and such gratitude for everything. I had decided to remain ‘quiet’ in a professional capacity to focus on the wedding and the summer. There were still very few events and I knew that I had to feel ready to push myself again. I wasn’t there yet.

On my birthday on 4^th August Mike surprised me with a mystery day out. We went to Warwick Castle and thoroughly enjoyed it. The shock was that even though we were double-vaccinated, we both became ill within a few days and tested positive for coronavirus again! Once again, we were back to spending days in our dressing gowns, too unwell to do very much. The improvements we had made in our physical health regressed into the need for constant painkillers and rest. I had to take another 10 weeks of sick leave, returning on 17^th October.

Shortly after that we had the very sad news that COVID-19 had taken the life of Mike’s sister, Glynis. We had seen her several times over the summer due to the wedding and were looking forward to making more plans in the future. Then she was gone! Our trip back to Cornwall for her funeral was a very sad journey to make.

Mike and I took the second part of our honeymoon in Florida, flying out on the 26^th November. It was great to be in the warm sunshine and enjoy being together. I felt very blessed to have my toes in the sand again!

We were so careful about hygiene, social distancing and followed all the rules. Yet on our return, Mike felt unwell and tested positive for COVID-19 again. A few days later I came down with all the same symptoms, although my tests were clear. Shocked, stunned, disappointed all came to mind. Both of us “rocked” the house with coughing. Thankfully our recovery has been much quicker this time.

We were able to enjoy Christmas Day with my parents and son. My brother-in-law had tested positive a few days before Christmas, so sadly we did not see my sister or niece either. A second Christmas Day is planned as soon as we are all able to.

And here we are into a New Year.

What has helped me during all these months? Here are some of them.

1. My husband, Mike.

Perhaps it has been easier both being unwell at the same time. We fully appreciated how one another has felt so have been able to support and care for one another. It is wonderful to be his wife and to make our plans together. I have been his Personal Assistant since we met back in 2011 and continue to support him with his role as an Executive Coach. He has been able to coach virtually and our dining room has become his office. I am very proud of how he has maintained his client base during the pandemic and his illness. We were both so pleased to read this article written by one of them, totally unsolicited. https://www.pchauhan.com/blog/2021/12/13/want-a-coach-have-mine

2. My parents.

My Mum and Dad have always been ‘there’ for me. I know how difficult they found lockdown and not being able to help us when we were so poorly. We remained in constant contact and it is lovely now to be able to be with them again. My Dad has dementia and so we make the most of every situation with him. He may not be able to remember what we have done – he does appreciate being in the moment. Maybe we all could learn from that? Mike and I like to take him to the cinema with us. It gives Mum some time for herself and we enjoy having his company. He has become quite the comedian and will come out with some very funny comments. It has been a pity that the pandemic has stolen some holiday time that we would have had with them. Hopefully we will have that opportunity again soon.

3. My son, Marius.

Since the summer, he has been living with Mike and I. He loves his job at Forest Holidays in nearby Delamere. https://www.forestholidays.co.uk/locations/cheshire/delamere-forest/

It is such a pleasure to have him around.

4. Knitting

I have always been a busy person and thrive on being productive. For many months in 2020, I couldn’t even be bothered to knit. Previously this was my favourite hobby.  My best friend Sue encouraged me just to knit one baby cardigan for a charity. From there, my passion was reignited and I made many more. Subsequently I have made many dolls clothes and sold them via my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/knitsbyauntieelaine . In the months of being physically unable to do very much, I have loved having something to show for it. It’s amazing what can be achieved when you simply start!  My challenge can then be stopping … at the moment I have been told I need to put my needles away for a few weeks.  The physio says I have damaged a nerve in my neck through doing too much. I need to walk each day to ensure my neck is in the correct position. I can pick my needles up again and do so in moderation.

5. Our cat, Mog

It is amazing how a small animal can give such love. In all the times that we have been unwell, he has snuggled up to us, purring contentedly. It is so calming.

6. Contact with people

I have very much appreciated the concern and help from friends and neighbours during all this time. It reminds me of the fundamental need for us as humans to connect. I am aware that I have withdrawn in many ways from being sociable. I know that we have been limited to do so physically and I want to improve on that as we go into 2022.

I acknowledge and appreciate that I have been on a learning curve again through all these months. I need to take time now to identify what that is.  During my years as a professional speaker I have always stressed the importance of looking after yourself so that you can help others. I have needed to take heed of that advice. I haven’t felt ready until now to acknowledge that the ‘me’ is on the brink of returning!

I want to rekindle the enthusiasm for all aspects of life again – maybe my next blog should be ‘beyond the knitting needles’!

One of the Five Ways to Wellbeing https://tinyurl.com/hm6csahu   that I used to refer to is to ‘Take notice’. It dawned on me this morning about the significance of my list last week. I noticed a small thing and it has made a big difference in me today. In looking up that link, it has reminded me of the other four

• Connect
• Be Active
• Learn
• Give

Looks like that is the basis upon which I need to rebuild.

Great news is that I have three presentations at events booked too. 🙂 One notion Mike and I have is that we should consider doing some joint presentations.

To those of you who are struggling right now, please let me encourage you. After months of waking and feeling that I had no energy or enthusiasm for very little, there is a real possibility that my sparkle is finally on its way back. It certainly hasn’t happened overnight and it has been a long while in coming. Now I need to remember to embrace this renewed energy in moderation!

• Is there something that you have done recently that you can reflect on that is actually a big step forward?
• What have you been putting off that you simply need to take a deep breath and start?

Thank you for reading and I look forward to being back here very soon.

Elaine 🙂