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I do not think I have ever felt so sad at the news of the death of someone I have never met yet feel I have known all my life.  Like many others in the UK today we awoke to the news that Terry Wogan had died. Instead of the usual ‘Steve Wright Sunday love songs’ that I was expecting on BBC Radio 2, we heard the first programme dedicated to his memory followed by Richard Madeley ‘sitting in his chair’ for Weekend Wogan. I am sure I was not the only one who was tearful all morning. I found myself wondering why.

Part of me felt very foolish. I have known close, personal grief and how all-consuming that can be. On the other hand, we regularly turn on the news to the loss of someone famous and I, like many others, will reflect for a short while on their films, songs, achievements etc….and life carries on.

This morning I was genuinely moved and sorry for the passing of Terry. My first response was to text my Mum. I know that she would probably feel sad too. Her response was that she and Dad had decided to continue their plans to go to the cinema with their free tickets 🙂 As she has a cold, she had wanted to stay in and ‘feel sorry for herself’ (her words) – the passing of Terry convinced them to make the most of today! I felt comfort knowing I am still very blessed to have both my parents.

As the music and messages continued, the Ronan Keating song played ‘You say it best when you say nothing at all’. That promoted some tears! That track always reminds me of my son being in the car as a small boy. He used to sing the chorus line. A treasured memory. I am so pleased and proud of how he has settled into student life. I miss him very much as well.

I continued to feel amazed at how upset I was feeling and then as the messages rolled in and Richard read them out, I realised that it wasn’t just me. I imagine that my sister and my son will both think I am daft!  Also perhaps those who did not grow up in the UK would not understand why I, and so many others, have been as upset as we have been. I accept that it is most probably an ‘age’ thing! Let me attempt to explain.

As a primary school aged child, my earliest memory of Terry Wogan was of his breakfast show on BBC 2. His voice went along with reading the back of breakfast cereal packets; negotiating with my brother to get the free toy; standing in the middle of the lounge as my Mum attempted to brush my thick hair into a ponytail! My Dad was often at work on shifts so the morning routine was often down to Mum to get us sorted, ready to walk to school. This was in the days when we only had one black and white television in the house and there was only a limited range of both channels on it and also on the radio. We simply did not have the plethora of choices that we now have back then in the late 60’s and early 70’s.

The mid 70’s saw our family increase with the arrival of our sister in 1973. We moved house and seemed to prosper as we gained a family car and a colour television. Mum was thrilled with the arrival of the ‘stereogram’ – a great big piece of furniture, almost the size of a sideboard, that was a radio and record player. If Dad wasn’t on night shift, we would listen to Terry in ‘stereo’. Did you have one?

In my teenage years I affectionately remember the start of watching Eurovision with Terry’s banter. I know that Graham Norton has made a commendable replacement – huge shoes to fill though.  I also remember that once my brother and I had done our homework at the dining room table, we could watch television. The ‘Wogan’ chat show was appealing even to teenagers! I especially loved that he also had ‘ordinary’ people on it as guests and not just celebrities.  I recall one elderly lady who kept tortoises! My Grandpa was a barber in Fleetwood for decades, and I remember calling into his shop sometimes on the way home from school. One of his regular topics of conversation would revolve around Terry Wogan’s guests. Oh dear! More tears as I remember my grandparents so fondly!

I think during my college years I abandoned Terry for a while as I moved to Radio 1. Technology was progressing though because even as students we generally had small televisions in our bedrooms at home and college. Our own music collections grew as we had our own ‘stereo’ combined with a cassette player, like the one pictured. If you were ‘naughty’, you would listen to the top 20 during Sunday teatime and record your own favourites!

One of the treats for going home, apart from my Mum’s Sunday roasts, was being aware she had ‘Terry’ on again.

When I left college and went to live at home again for a while, I joined a social and fund-raising organisation called Rotaract. For a number of years each ‘Children in Need’ night we would do a fancy dress pub crawl around Runcorn and take our filled buckets of money to the BBC in Manchester. It is quite amazing to see the legacy of that charity that Terry was a huge part of.

My Mum’s love of music encouraged my own and we have enjoyed the delights of some of our favourite artists at live shows over the years – Lionel Richie being one of them. We went as a family in the 2006 to see him perform in Hyde Park at a Proms in the Park show. We had our picnic right up at the front and saw the whole show leaning against the barrier to the stage. Terry was the compere for the event. It is the only time I had actually seen him ‘in the flesh’.  Other Lionel fans and I actually booed him as Lionel finished his set! We wanted more! Terry was quite taken aback at the reaction and attempted to calm us down by telling us it wasn’t his fault! The programme was set! Later that day Mum e-mailed him and asked for a Lionel track on his breakfast show. He actually read it out and told listeners how he had been booed! I shall always remember him putting a Lionel track on and adding ‘This is for Elaine ….. and yer Mother’!

In more recent years I have enjoyed his Sunday morning programme, especially as he has interviewed other of my favourite artists, such as Rascal Flatts.

Of course we now have a wide range of technology that has grown beyond our wildest imagination! The majority of us have our personal, handheld source of media in our phones.

As I am now in my 50s, I have perhaps reached the age of appreciation and gratitude because I am more aware that our lives are limited. We only have a relatively short period to make our impact in this world and hopefully live our purpose to help make the lives of others better. Terry’s passing today has made me reflect on the very special people in my life now and in the past. I never personally told Terry Wogan how much I have enjoyed his presence through the decades of my life. Perhaps there was no need. It may have been a nice thing to have sent a short note when he first announced he was unwell to do his shows at the end of last year. Today there are many people who are now sharing memories and appreciation of a man who truly made an impact and lived his purpose to entertain others in abundance. Yes, he lived a luxurious life – he did get up at a ridiculously early time for many years for his Breakfast show. He gave back through his charity involvement. He also appeared to live a ‘good’ life as a family man. There haven’t been media stories of drugs, alcohol, etc.

Today we have lost a part of UK media history. It is more than that. For many of us Terry Wogan has ‘always’ been part of our own history and that is why we mourn him. He has felt like a part of our own family because he made us all feel special. He had so many qualities that many of today’s celebrities do not have – humility being one of them.

Thank you for the memories Terry. Thank you for reminding me of all the pleasure you have given.

Perhaps today’s learning could be to ensure that we make sure we tell people how we cherish them whilst they are in a position to appreciate our sentiments? Who are you going to tell and hopefully make them smile?

Elaine x