My Blog

I have received several messages in the last few weeks asking me how I am – due to my silence on my blog. I totally appreciate the concern that people have for me – thank you so much. Generally I am happy, busy and enjoying life! I have no need to blog as much as I did – in fact I am not sure where I used to find the time.

I admit that, for the first time in ages, I haven’t been well. I was laid low by a flu-type bug with earache, sore throat, etc. and a real drain of energy. My emotions have also been very close to the surface and things that normally would hardly cause a reaction in me, have resulted in tears!  Each day I woke feeling grotty, dosed myself with ‘drugs’ and wallowed! I had a real case of ‘can’t be bothered-itis’ with almost everything and everybody!

Then, almost miraculously, the ‘fog’ lifted one morning. Even before I opened my eyes I could sense my head felt better, throat less raw and temperature ‘back to normal’. Wow! Isn’t it incredible how then everything slots back into place again?

I felt I could conquer the world again and set out to. Within 30 minutes I was back on the sofa feeling exhausted!! So I still need to recuperate and be gentle on myself for a few days yet. It has reminded me of how we tend to take our health very much for granted. It is only when it is challenged and then we get better do we really appreciate it again (until we put it back in the ‘normal’ box) and return to focus on other aspects.

What else or who else do you take for granted? How often do we chastise ourselves with thoughts of what we could have done differently if only we had known something we ‘take for granted’ was about to be taken from us? How can we avoid such torment and feel happier?

I guess it comes down to making the most of the gifts we have – our health, our loved ones, our opportunities WHEN we have them.

Life is fragile; I have been reminded many times in the past year how true that statement is. I am not tormented by regrets about my relationship with Clive as I feel I gave it the best I could. I continue to use the lessons I learnt from him and from my own experiences to be a ‘better’ person going forward.

One of the things that he used to say was that you never truly die until the last person alive that remembers you also dies. He liked to feel he had left positive impact behind him. He would be thrilled that in recent weeks, this has been confirmed again. For example, Janet sent me this message:-

I wrote an e book ‘Messages’ and I mention Clive on page 1. It is free to download at www.nlpeze.co.uk  . He truly left such an impression on me through his brilliant workshops I felt he had to be included! And it is a way I can clearly show what an impact he had. I recently updated it, as originally it had details of Clive’s website and have now changed it to inform readers of his sad passing. His message was to always encourage us to just do it  “Grab life by the Throat” and that’s what I did! So I do hope it is a fitting legacy to him. The next one I write will be dedicated to him as I am so grateful for all I learned from him.

His workshops were always lively, humorous, motivational and inspirational and delivered in a real down to earth way! I remember one I attended where he asked us all about a goal we had that had not happened yet and one lady said that hers was to see a friend of hers she hadn’t seen for a long time as she lived too far away. Clive asked where her friend lived and when she replied “Norwich” the look on Clive’s face was priceless! Needless to say the lady was subject to much ribbing from Clive in a way that only he could get away with!

It was after that particular workshop that I decided to write the book.

Also read the latest comments on Gavin’s tribute here http://www.gaviningham.com/2011/02/21/take-life-by-the-throat-rip-clive-gott/

Clive never took for granted the impact he had upon others – even if they decided that they didn’t like him! He would say that was none of his business and focus on those who did gain from his messages. He would be humbled and privileged by the many emails he received after his workshops and presentations. His purpose was fulfilled of ‘making this world a better place by simply having visited’.

People often ask me about Peeka, Clive’s beloved dog. I have found out recently that she too has passed away. I suspect strongly that she would have pined so much for him – they brought each other so much love and pleasure. The many memories of their little routines brought a tear to my eye, yet also happy memories and smiles. They truly appreciated each other!

With all of these thoughts and feelings as realities in my life during these last few weeks,  I am reminded just how much I have changed and how I have grown as a direct result of all that has happened.

My purpose of helping others to be happier and more content, has been both challenged and reignited in recent weeks.

I want to encourage new parents to appreciate their children more and share their enjoyment of life.

A regular pleasure I now have is spending quality time with my 2 year old niece Sophie. I now realise that I did not fully appreciate simply ‘being with’ Dom when he was that age. The remnants of my postnatal depression and my ‘perfectionist’ personality channelled me more into keeping him and the environment ‘tidy’ and attending to jobs on my ‘to do list’.  I did not make the most of the opportunity of simply enjoying the very essence and joy of that age. I know I am not alone in this as one of my close friends and I discussed this. She too feels that as ‘Mum’ you are concerned with everything else in the household as your own youngsters grow up. As you mature your relationship with other babies and toddlers takes on a different level and you are more relaxed and also realise how quickly they grow.

I want to encourage you to fully appreciate simply ‘being’ with your loved ones and have fun together.

I was at the cinema with Dom and my wonderful partner recently.  I was positively purring with pleasure, popping popcorn – the film was immaterial, the company, priceless. I like to think I focus much more on other people when I am with them in general, yet I still clearly need more work on it as even Sophie asked ‘are you checking e-mails?’ as I picked up my Blackberry when I was with her recently!  Next time I was with her I ignored my phone for two hours and we made Fairy cakes, watched The Aristocats and ‘chilled’. Bliss!

I want to encourage you to use your skills to help others and in doing so you will help yourself.

I have been privileged to support some new Mums through their anxieties – it is wonderful to be able to help others by listening and assisting them to change their thinking and to be kinder with themselves.  I like to feel that I appreciate being in a position to do so. Whilst I was feeling so grotty last week I took one of these calls – afterwards I felt so much better because I felt their need was greater than mine and put my temporary aches and pains into perspective. Returning back to good health is fantastic … and enough.

Sheldon’s Happiness Model consists of two major components: the need to keep having new and positive life-changing experiences and the need to keep appreciating what you already have and not want more too soon.  He suggests three ways to be happier and unknowingly I am doing them!

1. Have a healthy outlet, e.g. help others
2. Don’t take yourself too seriously, e.g. enjoy life as it is shorter than you think
3. Happiness must be shared – I do my best to!

Read more details at http://preventdisease.com/news/12/050812_Breakthrough-Model-Shows-Two-Ways-To-Change-Your-Happiness-Set-Point.shtml

I ask again – who or what do you take for granted and what steps can you make to ensure that you slow down and appreciate them or it?

Elaine