My Blog

One of the joys of my career is being asked to do new things. Recently I was invited to present a webinar for NHS England from the perspective of a mother on  the impact of the 6Cs of nursing and midwifery values upon my midwifery care.

The recording of it can be found here  (My suggestion is that you reduce the participants and chat boxes and move the video image of me to the top right of your screen so that you can see the slides.)

The handout can be found here. This has all the links and some questions for action and reflection.

I do hope that you find it useful. Please do share it with whomever you feel will find it relevant. There is a possibility of me making a podcast of just the presentation in the future. If you know of anyone who would like me to deliver the same presentation at an event around the 6Cs, I would be very happy to do so. I have also a similar one on mental health, using anecdotes from my experiences of psychiatric care.

Through the process I have also learned several things that I would like to share with you:

1. Use of the telephone in webinars

We had trialled all of the IT used in setting up the system so that it would work well. Any glitches were ironed out and I felt confident with it all. As a speaker I have experienced challenges with equipment so do like to cover all bases for the benefit of all involved. The sound on the webinar is done via a separate phone line.  I was using my cordless land line handset. The organisers and I had logged in ‘live’ around 30 minutes before the start of the webinar to check everything was working, e.g. that I could move the slides myself. That didn’t work when we then went live!  Then around halfway through the session my phone battery died! What the webinar doesn’t show is me running around like a headless chicken to find another handset that worked; the organisers calling me which went through to my answerphone two floors down and then finally realising to dial back in using my mobile!  Next time I know to use my mobile plugged into the mains for power. I am pleased that I look cool when the sound did come back!

Tip: When presenting, check every piece of equipment before you start and ask ‘what if?’ so that you can have a contingency in place.

2. Self-doubting

I have always liked to put my full effort into anything I agree to do. When I was asked to present this webinar I was genuinely thrilled because it is an area I am passionate about. The opportunity to share some of my experiences to help shape how health professionals interact with their patients is something that I remain enthusiastic to do. When I first began to give presentations I would work hard at preparing them and would ride a roller coaster of emotions questioning my ability. I would often phone my Mum just before I was due to present with a ‘butterflies in my tummy’ feeling. An hour or so later I would call back bubbling with joy at the positive responses I had received. I then learned that the adrenalin that creates that reaction is a good thing and helps me to perform better. My Mum no longer gets the ‘before’ call. The webinar was a new experience and I found myself slipping back into the ‘butterflies’ feel again. I had rehearsed; checked my timings and relevance of content many times. The positive voice in me knew that it would go well yet I allowed the negative one to encroach more than usual this time. Why do we do this as humans?  I often tell the story of Sally Gunnell, the Olympic runner. She describes those inner voices that we all have. She says that she calls the negative one her ‘duck’ because when it quacks away with all the self-doubts she simply says to it ‘Shut the duck up’!  I think I shall buy myself a yellow duck to sit on my desk as a reminder!

Tip: Silence that inner negative voice

3. Moderation

I was amazed that as I researched for the webinar it made me realise one of my characteristics of going ‘over the top’. As the focus was on the maternity aspects of care I decided to read the early chapters of my book again to refresh my mind and to select some relevant anecdotes. On reflection I did far too much of everything! I approached pregnancy like a ‘project’ with a never-ending list with files, books and research galore. Rest? What was that? Even on discharge from hospital after two stays whilst pregnant, I returned home and got straight back into ‘list’ mode. I ignored all advice to slow down. The birth was very traumatic and I was told I was lucky to be alive.

When my son was born I did just the same. Early motherhood was also approached with military precision of  ‘got to; should do’.  I ignored all advice to slow down. I developed puerperal psychosis.

Around two months ago, the mutual decision was made between my ex-husband and I that I should move back into our joint home as he has moved out and it was not selling.  Within 24 hours of that conversation I had done six car loads of moving my possessions from my rented house back into my old home! Three days later the move was complete. The pace that I put myself and others through was ridiculous. I entered a cycle of begrudging to go to sleep! This wasn’t due to anxiety – just my own personal expectations of wanting to do many little jobs that I felt were needed. After years of watching ‘Homes under the Hammer’ and ‘Escape to the Country’ here was my opportunity to make a difference to a house again! I lost the ability to rest and I began to even annoy myself. My son rolled his eyes at me several times and asked ‘Mum – what’s the rush’?  I ignored all advice to slow down. I then needed a course of antibiotics for an infection over Easter weekend.

This then coincided with preparing for the webinar. In reading my book I recognised that ‘manic’ behaviour again. Wow! Do I never learn? It has served as a real wake up call for me. I began to use the phrase to myself from this film:

I am pleased to report that I am now back at moderation level! ( I can hear those around me saying ‘Really?). I am now able to relax again without the need to ‘paint a wall’. Yes, the tasks I would like to do are still there. The difference is the ‘list’ is only in my head and will be tackled when it suits me, my schedule and my loved ones.

Tip: What trait do you have that you need to do something about?

I now am looking forward to the focus of writing my next book in my ‘new’ office.

Notes to self:

1. Ensure all work on it is saved and backed-up

2. Believe that it will be a success

3. It doesn’t have to all be done next week – write a plan that enables me to live my life AND write a book at a moderate pace! My reward to myself can be to paint a wall from time to time!

Elaine