My Blog

On 4^th August I turned 60 years of age. It has been a wonderful celebration and prompted me to make some changes in my life as I start my next decade.  I’d love to share these with you.

Firstly, I’ll share how we celebrated the occasion. Mike, my husband, and I headed to Yorkshire for a couple of nights away in a luxurious Airbnb called the Swanky Farmhouse. It was in a small village in the beautiful countryside between Huddersfield and Leeds. It was very ‘swanky’ with stunning furnishings and one of the most beautiful bedrooms I have ever stayed in. Recently I came across the Scottish expression ‘hurkle-durkling’ that means to stay in bed long after getting up time has passed. This was so relevant to this place as the sumptuous bed and bedding held you captive in their comfort. We dined out a number of places and generally relaxed. The original plan had been to barbeque. We all know what the UK weather has been like this July and early August, so that did not happen!

I’d had a pre-birthday gift of a turquoise pendant from Mike then on my actual birthday morning received a Fitbit. That had been a request, as I intend to become fitter in my 60’s. I do know that it means effort will be needed. This is a start! Our breakfast consisted of cupcakes given to us by the charming hostess of the Swanky Farmhouse. Maybe not the healthiest way to become fitter! I felt sad to leave as it was so comfortable there and also excited for the rest of the celebrations to come. Once again it was raining, so we abandoned the idea of a leisurely brunch in Holmfirth and headed home to Cheshire. The traffic was dreadful, so we dined in a local pub instead followed by food shopping for the next day – an afternoon tea for a small gathering of friends and family.

Birthday brunch at Bennett’s Bistro

Once home there were more cards and gifts waiting for me. One card that brought a tear to my eye was from the team at the Maternal Mental Health Alliance. Small gestures can mean so much and this one did.

My birthday evening was spent a few miles away with my parents and brother.

The day of my Afternoon Tea dawned and the reality that we would need to be indoors was confirmed. The forecast was for persistent rain all day! Last year we began clearing an overgrown section at the back of our house. We had completed it a few days earlier. The plan was to put a table and chairs there as extra seating to the existing courtyard. These are the ‘before, during and after’ photos.

Another part of my present was an outside sofa and parasol that was intended for use at my afternoon tea. Let’s hope we can use them soon!

Instead, Mike, Marius (my son) and his fiancée Star, all worked hard at getting the house ready for guests. Outside furniture had to be used inside and as much space created as possible. Our neighbour Stephanie, who had kept our moral up during COVID and Long Covid with her fabulous cakes and had also made our wedding cake, offered her baking for this event. She brought boxes of scones, mini-Victoria sponges and chocolate cupcakes. Yummy! It was great to have a get-together, the biggest since our wedding two years ago. The guest list head to be kept small as we knew we would be limited if it rained. Good job we did. One of my best friends Sue made a lemon and blueberry birthday cake for me. Mike got me a tiara and sash that I was instructed to wear.

My cake

The afternoon passed quickly with plenty of laughter and enjoyment by all (I hope!).  Once everyone had left, Mike and I ordered takeaway pizza and I had the fun of opening my cards and presents. I felt very loved.

The following day was spent tidying up and relaxing.

On Monday Mike had the final treats lined up for me. First we went for a spa afternoon and had some fabulous treatments. My Fitbit even recognised I’d been swimming.

Post massage cocktail

The birthday ended with another meal out and a cinema trip to see a preview of Gran Turismo. A perfect end to some very happy days spent with people I love.

Mike in Ask Italian

My 50’s have been a memorable decade. The most significant aspect was getting married on 3^rd July 21. It was a day that had taken four other attempts that were all postponed due to the pandemic. So often we recollect aspects of that magical day.  Sadly, we lost Mike’s sister Glynis a few months after that due to COVID. Everyone of us was impacted by the pandemic. For Mike and I, we contracted the virus in April 2020 and were unwell for many months due to the debilitation of Long COVID.

I made a big decision a few days before my birthday that has already had a positive impact on my life. In 2016, I began to work a few shifts in a local store. At the time Mike was working in the USA for several weeks at a time. The job was good as it meant I was away from the house and my desk when I wasn’t doing one of my talks. Increasingly the constant overtime has eroded the things and people I really want to support. I realise that at 60 years of age, I have less life ahead of me than I have already lived! Yes, that could be considered negative, and I choose to look at it as motivating. It made me realise that my time is precious and therefore a change is required. I had thought that I had 4 weeks of notice to serve then found out that it was only a week. So,  I am now free from  being on a rota. It feels wonderful – like the excitement you feel as a child at the start of the long summer holidays. So many possibilities!

So,  this is what I intend to do with my time, in no particular order:

1. Be with my husband. The pandemic had all but stopped his work as an Executive Coach and Leadership training. Through his tenacity he has kept his posts and connections on social media very strongly. Due to this, his career has suddenly exploded. He is incredibly busy. I have been his PA long before I was his wife. We also deliver workshops together. The next few months he needs my support in many ways and it means I can do so much more… easily. When we are not working from home or away, we can have much more time together to simply be together. We have a number of holidays planned too.
2. Continue to resume my own career. Just before the pandemic I was a keynote speaker at a psychiatry conference in Qatar. It was the biggest event I have ever done and was even flown business class. COVID took away my confidence and purpose. Little by little, both have been restored. The mutual support given by the Maternal Mental Health Alliance has been so helpful. Gradually from small online events, I feel I am ‘back’ and with a greater respect for my craft. I appreciate the opportunities too with the Maternity and Midwifery Forum and Healthcare Conferences UK. Most recently I delivered my new topic ‘The Lifelong Effects of the Perinatal Period’ at an event in Manchester. It was live streamed to 120 countries!

I will have the opportunities going forward to get back to blogging again and being much more present in the world of perinatal mental health. I am so proud of all the progress that has been made in the last decade and I want to continue to be part of it.

3. Be with my family. Marius and Star are currently living with us while they save for a place of their own. I know that will probably happen within months. I want to be home more whilst they are around. My parents are high on my list of priorities. My Dad is sinking deeper into dementia and even though he ‘can’t remember’ very much, the rest of us can. We have begun to attend a Memory Café and a Singing for the Brain session on a Wednesday. Dad comes alive there and it is delightful to witness the joy on his face as he sings the songs. As soon as we have left he has no idea of where he has been. To me, the memories I have with him there are priceless. We have another coach trip planned in September with Mum and Dad. I know that will be special. I am now available to be able to support them much more. I might even get on the list to pick my niece up from school!
   

   Mum and Dad and I earlier this year

4. See my friends. Already I have plans made and being made to see more of them. Long may it continue.

3. Get fitter. One good aspect of working at the shop was the physical workout of being on my feet for around 8 hours along with lifting and moving a great deal of stock. I now need to plan for alternative exercise. It could be so easy to sit for long periods.
4. Keep on knitting! My love for knitting dolls clothes continues. The Barbie movie has increased interest in them. I love to be told how much pleasure my outfits are giving.

So as the last of the cakes are eaten and the flowers begin to wilt, I see myself on the rise! I appreciate all of the lovely birthday wishes, cards and gifts I received. A huge thank you for any part that you played.

I am excited for the future and will keep you updated here.

What are you planning for your future and what do you need to change to make it happen?

Elaine 😊