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People who have read my second book ‘Another Twinkle in the Eye – contemplating another baby after perinatal mental illness’,   will know that I confess to having a ‘Tesco’ moment (other supermarkets are available!) every now and then. It is a point I sometimes hit when I have the idea to stop my focus on perinatal mental illness because people have heard enough of me; because I’m now too old to represent new mums and a whole host of other negative ideas that, in that moment, I believe are true! It is quite uncanny how events then unfold that give me the proverbial kick up the backside and my passion is reignited. These last few days have been just that.

I hope that by sharing this, it may also encourage you to ‘keep on keeping on’ with whatever drives you. Last Thursday evening I went to see the film ‘Joy’.  This is a great example of how a woman who received setback after setback to her dreams, kept on doing what she believed in and finally had success.

That inspiration was in my mind as I drove to Abergele on Friday morning to speak at the Bangor Student Midwifery Society  study day on ‘Pre-existing conditions in Pregnancy’. The day began with an emotional start listening to Peter Wallroth from the charity, Mummy’s Star.  We met at an event last year and I have supported and shared details of the charity he set up after losing his wife to cancer not long after his son was born. Take a few moments to watch this – you might want to get a tissue first.

We then heard from a diabetic specialist nurse and the key implications for pregnant women.

Next was Bev Waterhouse who introduced the topic of perinatal mental health and described some of the ways she supports women in the Calderdale and Huddersfield area. I then gave my presentation on ‘Vulnerability – another pregnancy after perinatal mental illness’. One of the most rewarding aspects of what I do is when experienced midwives tell me that I have given them ‘food for thought’ to positively impact on their interaction and care of women. Likewise, when student midwives tell me that I have eased their worries about maternal mental health. That was the immediate feedback I received!

Just before lunch we listened to Dr Nanda who is a Consultant in Maternal Fetal Medicine at Liverpool Women’s hospital. It was inspiring hearing the ways she helps.

I could not stay for the afternoon. I felt very encouraged by the fact that student midwives had organised this wonderful event. Well done ladies and to the team at the venue, The Kinmel.

The next morning I was on an early train to London and met up with around 30 mothers and some healthcare professionals for the 2^nd birthday celebration of #PNDHour.   This was set up by Rosey who lives in the Outer Hebrides and has three children, all under 7 years old and with whom she suffered both antenatal and postnatal depression! She felt very isolated so simply began by reaching out to others between 8 and 9 every Wednesday evening via Twitter for people to share and discuss relevant topics. It has grown and grown! It is a service that I recommend and therefore wanted to support her on this special occasion.

Here we are!

The setting at a pub overlooking the Thames on the South Bank was spectacular. It was lovely to meet people who I had only known via the internet and had never met. The event began by several women sharing their story. So powerful! As the ladies spoke, one theme became evident – through the pain and suffering, these ladies have grown and developed. Words like ‘increased my confidence’. ‘made me realise what matters in life; ‘improved my role at work by showing the strength from being vulnerable’ were used. None of us would wish perinatal mental illness on anyone – it can actually empower survivors in the longer term.

Rosey, me and Sarah

And that’s when the ‘Tesco’ moment began to creep in! When my first book ‘Eyes without Sparkle – a journey through postnatal illness’ was published in 2005, social media was unheard of. It was rare to find examples of ‘stories’ and this lead to isolation and shame for many women. The huge rise in social media has led to many, many more women having a platform to share their stories. This continues to grow. I was beginning to feel redundant!

The day continued with a relaxing session on Mindfulness by Pauline McPartland ; a fantastic collection of films and media clips collected by Kathryn DeVecchi  ; some more incredible stories and finally an art session lead by Jessica from Cocoon Family Support. It was a fabulous day.

For me, the moment that utterly re-inspired me was a hug by Eve Canavan. She and Kathryrn have been in the media a great deal the last few weeks as they have worked magnificently on the theme with EastEnders  featuring a case of puerperal psychosis. The awareness of this condition has been catapulted into UK society because of this (see my previous blog). The night before, Stacey, the character in EastEnders, was shown being admitted to a general psychiatric ward and separated from her baby. Eve said she had been inundated by people sharing their shock at this and asking why there are not more Mother and Baby units.  Fantastic!

Eve gave me a hug and told me that it was my book that had been her shining light of hope when she was suffering from puerperal psychosis – without it, she might not have made it through. Bang! It is feedback like that which totally reminds me that perinatal mental health IS my passion and purpose in life. Thank you Eve.

I also felt choked with emotion to meet the adorable son of another lady who also says my story helped her so much. So I reframed my moment of doubt into the celebration of the strength in ALL of our stories. We are all unique and in sharing, we may find that we can inspire others. Thank you to all of you who were there on Saturday. Rosey – we all love and thank you. Keep on keeping on please!

As I walked back along South Bank with Carly and Tracey, it was another magical moment of ‘wow – perinatal mental illness has lead me to so many amazing experiences, relationships and connections with some incredible people’. Thank you ladies for your encouragement too.

When I was 10 years old I had viral meningitis and was seriously ill in Blackpool Victoria hospital. My grandparents took my older brother to London for a treat and to help my parents. Whilst there my Grandma told me that she had sat in St. Paul’s Cathedral and prayed for my recovery. As we left the venue, this is the sight that greeted me…

Yesterday morning I was in Birmingham speaking at the British Journal of Midwifery study event on perinatal mental health. I woke up excited to be going and I was right to be. It was one of my all-time favourite events!

Why? Because there were a number people there who had heard me speak at other events over the past 11 years. It was great to ‘update’ them on my new book. The best things were again being able to encourage the experienced midwives that what they are doing is great and there are a few tweaks they can make. I also had an opportunity to encourage the students there.  Dr Kristina Hofberg,  from Stafford Mother and Baby unit, gave an overview of maternal mental health. We then heard from Dr Lih Mei Liao  about PSTD following pregnancy. Yana Richens  OBE was the chair. I continue to feel privileged to be on the same programme as such eminent professionals. There are three more similar events planned for later in the year.

My story may be ‘old’ – it remains totally relevant. And I continue to strive to reach out to those who can make huge differences to others by their small actions, words and behaviour. I also continue to learn and share knowledge and information. The supermarket can wait!

I enjoy watching ‘Call the Midwife’. The latest episode featured a storyline on the promotion of baby formula milk in the 1960’s. One of the older nuns was very vocal in front of the pregnant mothers about how ‘bad’ it was. The outcome was that a newly delivered mother was so distressed by the feeling of failure to breast feed, baby became dehydrated and the mother ended up with bleeding nipples. A younger nun told her older colleague ‘You have such influence, please take care how you use it’.

‘You have such influence, please take care how you use it’.

From the reviews on my book and the reactions to my talks, it appears I have impact and influence. I like to feel that I am careful how I use it. My next step is to raise the awareness of my books through the media because I am told time and time again – they help others!

• Can you help me to ‘get them out there’?
• Do you have any media contacts? For example, I would welcome the opportunity to be on BBC Breakfast, Sky News and This Morning again. I want to inspire on Lorraine. I’d love to write an article for the Huffington Post.
• Please can you leave me reviews on my books on Amazon?

And if you are looking for a speaker for a perinatal mental health event, please let me know. I also know some that I can highly recommend.

So whatever your passion and purpose is, keep on keeping on! That’s what  I intend to do!

Elaine 🙂