My Blog

As a self-employed speaker, my working week varies so much. I love the flexibility that it brings and I thrive on my ‘organisational skills’ to ensure that all goes well. It is just as well…because life sometimes throws unexpected events to deal with and impacts upon ourselves and others in a variety of ways.

First on my agenda last week was speaking in Leicester. Due to the hot weather I decided to do all my tasks at home just wearing my nightie, with the plan to shower just before I left home. Surely I am not the only one who does that? I had all my necessary documents, tickets, clothes all ready for the next few days away and felt content that I had allowed myself an hour to get ready. I also was waiting for a parcel to be delivered. It would be typical for it to come whilst I was in the shower so I wrote a note to put by my doorbell requesting it to be left in the porch. As I did so, bang – the front door shut behind me! I had no key and all I had on was my nightie (a very sensible one, thank goodness!)  Ooops!

All I had ever said to my next door neighbour previously was ‘hello’. Luckily he was in his garden and I very embarrassedly told him what had happened. He was lovely and lent me his phone to ring my Mum – engaged tone!  He then noticed my bedroom window was open and managed to scramble in. So much for being cool and organised!  As he was balanced on the bay window of my lounge, a lady walking her dog stopped to check that all was okay. By the time my Mum came to take me to that station, all was well again. Even if I did feel foolish – and very thankful to my neighbour.

The journey to Leicester was fine and I was met at the station by one of the team who had booked the event for me.  Once at the hotel I expected to check-in to my room. It was full and I was to stay elsewhere later that evening.  I wanted to change and style my hair properly – awkward in a toilet! So they found me a room to use. My ‘crease-free’ dress was a mess. It wasn’t the impact I wanted to have. After tracking down an iron, finally I was ready!

I then had the honour of speaking to over 80 healthcare professionals about postnatal depression. The fact that they had given up a glorious summer evening in their own time was amazing. The comments and feeling that by sharing my experiences and knowledge has the potential to help others is quite awesome at times. Thank you to Lyndsey and her colleagues from ‘Professional Know How’  for making the event possible.

I was also delighted to meet Rose and her team from Jakin.  I invited her to send me some information about their amazing service:

‘Jakin exists to come alongside and care for those who are facing unexpected or difficult pregnancies and those who are struggling after pregnancy loss, after having an abortion, a miscarriage, or a stillbirth.   Our team of person centred counsellors are trained specifically in crisis counselling, post-abortion stress and pregnancy loss. We are passionate about caring and listening when no one else seems to understand – when you feel like you’re going mad or that you’re all alone; the world’s moved on and you’re left standing still.  Don’t struggle or grieve in silence and alone. There is someone at Jakin who can listen, care and can walk with you and support you.  So if you need to talk just call or text 07599 397938. We are passionate about raising awareness about grief and mental health after a pregnancy has ended so if you want to find out about how to support us or access presentations or training about our service, call the number above too. Visit our website at http://www.careconfidential.com/leicester‘ 

So often the huge value of simply listening is ignored. Jakin’s service sounds wonderful.

Next day I then had the train trip into London to meet up with my partner. On our wish list was seeing the American band Rascal Flatts play live.  This was the first time they had been to the UK. After a separate tube ride to Shepherd’s Bush ( I jumped on a tube and the doors closed leaving him on the platform), we found our hotel. I had checked out where to have a tasty meal prior to the show. As we walked there we passed the theatre and the queue was already long. We had ‘standing tickets’ so decided we had better join it. Our evening meal was a pannini sitting on a ledge by the bins!  The concert was great though – what performers.

We certainly did ‘stand’ – for 5 hours! Our knees felt that impact!

The following morning we met one of my friends from many years ago. I had met Sam and her family when I was with mine in Mallorca. One conversation we had standing in the sea had been about my book – at that point it had been written and was simply sitting in my computer. Sam encouraged me to ‘do something’ with it .. the rest, as they say, is history.  I wonder if we hadn’t met if ‘Eyes without Sparkle’ would have have been published?  Isn’t life amazing – you just never the outcome of meeting someone.

I then met a lady who had contacted me about her story. I hope perhaps that I was able to be the same encouragement to her in the same way that Sam was to me all those years ago.

Next train was to Cambridge. What a beautiful city. I checked in at The Holiday Inn for my next talk – postnatal illness and its effects on breast-feeding.  A hotel I would recommend – see my review here on Trip Advisor.

I had another pleasant evening with some dedicated healthcare professionals. My spring and summer tour for  ‘Professional Know How’  is now complete. I have thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated the opportunities they have given me to support some incredible people.

The following day was my trip back home – almost three hours to Birmingham, then back up to Cheshire. I was tired. The train was busy. I really just wanted to be left alone. Out of everyone in the carriage a lady who was extremely talkative decided to choose me to talk and talk to. At one point she got out her Sooty and Sweep puppets to wave at me!  At first I felt irritated and looked at my watch – 2 hours of this to go! I attempted to pretend I was busy on my phone, to no avail. When she went to the toilet I tried to hide behind a newspaper. No good. I thought about moving and I could see a few sympathetic eye rolls from other passengers as she began another story. I decided to change my thoughts. I put my paper down and showed some interest. I often say from the privilege of a speaking platform about the importance of listening. Instead of being irritated, I gave her my attention. In doing so, she smiled so much and I also began to do so. I hardly said a word and the good thing was the time then flew by! She had certainly impacted upon me.

I ended my week feeling very blessed with the life I now have. I like to believe that over the years I have learnt lessons and that sometimes it is good to reflect on them:

• Re-framing and changing how you think about things can improve your life and those around you
• With the best planning things can go wrong – stay calm and do what you CAN do to overcome them
• Keep hold of the fact that life and the people we meet can really make a impact upon your own and their lives, no matter how big or small

Who might you say hello to today that you can make a positive impact upon?

Elaine