My Blog

It is widely accepted that the death of a loved one is a major cause of pain, hardship and stress for those left behind – yet why are we still not speaking loud enough to prevent the avoidable deaths by suicide?

The latest MBRRACE report released a few days ago highlighted that

In 2020, women were 3x more likely to die by suicide during or up to six weeks after the end of pregnancy compared to 2017-19

Can you imagine what those families are going through?

The Office for National Statistics reported that

5,583 suicides were registered in 2021 in England and Wales, 6.9% higher than in 2020 (5,224 deaths)

Can you imagine the ‘if only’ talk that surround their loved ones and colleagues? Can you imagine the grief and the heartache as they begin to understand what their world will look and feel like without their loved one?

These figures do not include those who have attempted to take their own lives.

One family that were deeply affected by the loss of their 22-year-old daughter have set up a charity in her name. The Lucy Rayner Foundation

aims to raise awareness of the signs and symptoms of depression and mental health challenges, especially in young adults, and to facilitate change in the way mental health is being perceived by society.

Please do visit their website to see the incredible work that they do and for all the information they share.

I was honoured to speak at their virtual conference ‘Medication In Mental Health’ on 10th November. Why is it that there can still be a stigma around this area yet few people question the medication they take for a physical condition? For many the medication is life changing. Education around taking it is limited and hence why this conference was important.

It was a fascinating day that brought together the UK’s leading experts to discuss how medication is used; from diagnosis, to GP involvement to treatment and medication. It discussed the effects of treatment, what holistic options and methods there are and how they do work. Amongst the presentations were those from some young people who shared their powerful stories of how they had attempted to take their own lives and how they have now recovered enough to help prevent others from doing so. It was brilliantly facilitated by Carrie Carlisle. My topic was ‘Believe that you can manage your mental and physical health’ during which I shared my story of perinatal mental health, and more recently Long-COVID, outlining some of the ways I had used to become well again.

The recordings of the day will be available on the app Mental Health Matters Hub (MHMHub).

Please take a moment to share the information – it could improve and even save a life.

For a number of years, I have been delighted to be a speaker at ‘Let’s Talk Birth’ events organised by The Real Birth Company. On Saturday it was exciting to be back at a live conference held at their fascinating studio in Hereford. It used to be a prison!

We heard from some great speakers that were passionate about their area of expertise, all around the topic of birth. These included:

• Scott Mair and Mark Williams who spoke about their work with fathers.
• A moving talk about the peer support offered by the Birth Trauma Association
• My husband Mike Coote made us all think about the communication we use and how by simply changing the words we use can have a huge impact on others.
• An incredible talk from David Monteith and the charity he and his wife started called Grace in Action, about supporting life after stillbirth.

My topic was on ‘Contemplating another pregnancy after a perinatal mental illness’. Here I am giving a mention to the some of the resources I recommend – Maternal Mental Health Alliance; Action on Puerperal Psychosis; Marce Society; Institute of Health Visiting.

Thank you to the Lucy Rayner Foundation and The Real Birth Company for the opportunities to share my story and experience.  The private conversations that I had with delegates reminded me of the need to keep on speaking about our mental health to improve and even save lives. It is NOT simply down to the healthcare professionals – we all can play a role.

In the current world of pressures that we face, including financial stresses, we all should be aware to keep ourselves as mentally well as possible. I also feel that we all have a duty of care for  others. Perhaps someone that you know is struggling? When you next have a break, why not send them a message, pick up the phone or knock on their door? Sometimes a simple action CAN literally save a life. In the business world, the same applies.

I was impressed with an email I received from Whistlefish. I love their greetings cards. I am thrilled to see that they have launched a beautiful range of cards called ‘Here for You’ specifically for encouragement to others. I know when I was so mentally ill, I was not able to be face-to-face with others for a while as it was too overwhelming. It was always appreciated when someone let me know I was in their thoughts. I was then able to respond when I felt well enough. Doing something to encourage is always better than doing nothing.

What are you doing and what can you do to look out for someone?

Maybe your company could put on an event to show how we all can help?

Please let’s save more lives together.

Elaine 🙂