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A couple of years ago Clive and I saw this trailer when we were at the cinema, for ‘Nativity’.
Watch it here:- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIqy5Li-BoY

I can’t remember which film we saw but I do remember us commenting that we’d like to see this film. It was another thing we had planned but due to his sudden death, we never did. I could chose to avoid such activities we had intended to do but instead I feel it makes more sense to do them where I can. A bit like Rose at the end of ‘Titanic’ when the camera pans at the photos of all she did in her life after losing her love Jack!

So tonight I noticed that Nativity was being shown on BBC2 and decided to watch it. I settled down in my ‘new’ lounge in my little cottage.  It was very hard to leave the house that Clive and I had made our home but I admit that I feel more at peace in my own neutral space. I am surrounded by our things but the setting is different. I am stunned at how well I am sleeping too. In the early months after losing Clive regular blog readers may recall how sleep was a massive problem. To turn out my light and then realise 8 hours has slipped by is incredible here.  Being back in Cheshire near my family is lovely. I have been on my own today apart from my Dad ‘popping in’, which was great. He couldn’t do that when I lived in Tadcaster.

Anyway – back to the film. I LOVED it! I admit that since I stopped teaching six years ago and Dom has passed the primary school ‘magic’ age for Christmas, I have not felt as festive. As a special school teacher we used to ‘do’ Christmas big time! Almost from October half-term the preparations began with cards, calendars and ‘the play’. By the time the end of term arrived Christmas was truly in the heart and soul! Clive wasn’t that keen on Christmas. He would bring a pre-decorated tree down from the loft on Christmas Eve and all signs would be gone by New Year’s Eve! I also spent the last 3 Christmas Days split between Cheshire and Tadcaster on the M62 between my family and Clive.

Watching Nativity tonight reminded me of my teaching days. The excitement of the children. The stress of the staff! It was wonderful to see in the credits that the film is dedicated to ‘inspirational teachers everywhere’.

There is also a loveable character in the film that reminded me of Clive – his confidence, fun and how he was admired by children. I recalled sessions he had given in schools to the groups often labelled as ‘the trouble set’. The way he brought out the best in them was incredible.

As the film developed I felt a sense of sadness because Clive would have loved it. Why didn’t we make the effort to go? How many things in life do we comment that we would like to do ‘but never get round to’?

Is there something that you have said to a loved one that you want to do/go to/have?   How many excuses have stopped you? I have begun a journal in my new home. I have started another ‘wish list’ in the back of it. After watching the film tonight I have decided that within the next week I shall make a least one of them HAPPEN!

Perhaps there will be ‘One night one moment’ which was the final song in the film?!

I was in tears at several bits in the film but not through sadness – it was pure enjoyment!

I highly recommend that if you want a feel good Christmas film, get a copy and watch it!

And what are you going to do that you have kept putting off?

Christmas wishes to you all,

Elaine x

www.hanzak.com