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Looking after yourself so that you can help others …

Posted by Elaine Hanzak on 18 Jul 2011 / 0 Comment

Last week regular blog readers will know wasn’t a good one for me! Grief hit big time along with other things.
On Friday I made an attempt to climb out of it and continued over the weekend.

Today I am happy to report that by taking responsibility for myself and accepting the support around me I was back in a position to help others again. In doing so I have had a much better day!

Last night Ann and I went to the Travelodge at Sutton in Ashfield. Patrick checked us in with a smile and efficiently. (I always notice the names and use them of those who give me good service – a tip from Clive – it makes them feel valued and in turn they respond well back). Ann was impressed with the size of her room complete with a sofa!

Within minutes we used a fast and efficient taxi firm, A line, who whisked us off to Il Rosso. What an excellent restaurant! The setting, music, ambiance, prices, service, etc were all faultless. Louise our waitress was charming and the evening passed quickly and enjoyably. We have to go back to this area for the food if nothing else!

Once back at the Travelodge we put our packs for the workshop together. We have a resource CD for our delegates plus extra information on our charity, Joanne Bingley Memorial Foundation and our work as Greatvine Experts.

Before I knew it morning had arrived (so good to have slept well!) then off to our venue for the day at Rufford Mill. It is a popular venue for weddings and I was pleased that didn’t upset me today with thoughts of ‘we would have been getting married’.I found this quote the other day:-

You can’t have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time
(Charles F. Kettering).

Perhaps that is becoming more my new mantra? I am trying to think of the future more and more. I cannot control further than the next few days and weeks but I will do those with optimism.

We had 37 delegates from the Nottingham/Mansfield areas of council staff and health professionals and delivered our workshop around postnatal depression.

It was a beautiful room and the day just flowed and passed quickly. I was so pleased not to have cried all day! Looking back to the previous one in Doncaster I feel far stronger than then. At the end of the day we ask for comments on the key thing they will take with them.

These included:-

the importance of looking after yourself so that you can help others
increased confidence around postnatal illness and loss
the need to allow people time to express their feelings and concerns
not to judge on face value
to be aware of how the parent and family are affected and need support and guidance
that small acts of kindness can result in big, positive differences.

It is always so rewarding to check that the desired outcomes which were outlined initially had all been achieved. Ann and I were also being assessed today – we got ticks in every box!

They were a very responsive group of ladies and we look forward to working with more of their colleagues.

I felt very satisfied with our delivery and thought of how pleased I was with myself for making the effort to live and not to allow depression to bring me down again. It isn’t easy but far more rewarding than simply giving up and letting grief ruin me too. Clive would be very cross if I did that.

Back in the car I did have a cry – no Clive to report back to and also due to a beautiful email sent by a friend of his who has only just found out he had died. Being reminded of the huge inspiration Clive gave others I know I want to continue it in my way. So far it appears that I am.

I admit to feeling extremely drained tonight. I give my all in those workshops but Ann and I are hungry for more! They are so rewarding and we do not know how fully the ripple effects will go.

I am glad that I have looked after myself (with support) so that I could help others today!

So my questions to you tonight –