My Blog

11 years ago when I resigned school teaching to become a professional speaker, my dream was one day to be travelling on aeroplanes to be sharing my story internationally. As I type this I am returning from Berlin – my second talk abroad within a week. Another is being planned in Switzerland.

I ask myself why has it taken so long? The short answer is that I wasn’t ready for it and the timing of it now is perhaps where it was meant to be. I share this with you as encouragement for something that you are wanting to achieve and as yet, it isn’t happening.

Why do I want to be an international speaker? Originally, I was attracted by the glamour I perceived of travelling by air and feeling that audiences ‘should’ hear my story. I now appreciate that it is tiring; you can be in beautiful places and only see the airport, hotel and a taxi trip; you are usually without a loved one to share the experience with; there is a great deal of waiting in airports; it can be unsettling sleeping in different beds; you constantly must talk to new people.

I remain excited by it all, regardless. As I continue this journey of international speaking perhaps I can look to extend each location by one day so I get to see more. I am also at the stage where I have freedom and flexibility to say I can travel. My son is completing his degree and my partner is also working away increasingly. My parents are often on their travels too. All reasons why ‘now’ is right. My personal and family situation are in line with my goals right now.  Other mothers and fathers who also wish to share their stories around perinatal mental health, are also keen to travel to do so. Having only had the joy of one son myself, I encourage them to be with their children when they are so small. Those years are so few and precious. The healthcare systems and professionals will always be there to listen – your small children will not. I shall always remember returning so excitedly from a speaking event when my son was still at primary school. I was so enthused and bubbly over what I had done that I missed his immediate needs. As he quietly slipped away to his bedroom, my Mum had to point out that my son actually needed me first to soothe his upset. In attempting to improve the lives of others, I was actually hurting my own.

The other aspect that matters a great deal is my skill as a speaker. Having an audience of delegates for whom English may not be their first language and/ or British culture and humour, means that you need to be mindful of these aspects. When you speak, it may need to be a little slower. Certain colloquial words may need to be changed or explained. Not all jokes will be funny. All these sprinkled with the big consideration of your confidence. An international audience pushes the stress factor and self-doubt up!

As a speaker, you need to earn your right to do this. You also need to meet the expectations of the event organisers. I now know until now I wasn’t ready for this.

One notion that is crucial and has changed, is my attitude regards why I am speaking. In the past I have been guilty of feeling ‘everything’ depends on ‘this’ talk – I put too much pressure on myself and then do not perform as well as I could. I have gone with a preconceived idea that unless I leave the room with more bookings, I have failed. The massive, and needed, change is that I now appreciate that it is about the needs of the delegates – not me!

Instead of talking at networking breaks about me I now ask about them – what are their challenges? What, if anything, do they require help or support with? Then when I present I can remember the conversations, and add my suggestions in line with my slides. I feel far more comfortable with this approach. I now know that I needed all this time to be ready for this.

11 years ago I had the story of my postnatal illness to share, with a few suggestions about what might help others. In the interim, life has given me more experiences and knowledge to share. I have a wider application. The leadership work and coaching I have done with Mike Coote has given me insight into the business world that used to be a mystery to me. What could a former teacher know about strategy, operational systems etc.? I now know until now I wasn’t ready for this.

I was invited to speak at a Global Summit for Women in Leadership in Berlin because my presentation in Vienna last week for Executive and Personal Assistants was received so well. I was told the programme was full and they HAD to have me and would make space for me!

Due to prior commitments, I could only travel Thursday and back the next day. I usually prefer to be part of the whole event. I flew into Berlin and eventually checked into the 5 star Sofitel hotel, located near the zoo. It was very swish!

I joined the delegates for a delicious meal and had a wonderful evening enjoying conversations about our work and personal lives. My fellow diners were all senior leaders from Lego, Total and Daimler!

Back in my delightful hotel room, I reflected upon how when I first began this journey 11 years ago, on such an evening I would have probably talked incessantly most of the meal. It felt so much better to have listened.

The breakfast next morning had a huge variety of food. All I managed was fruit salad and a small bowl of porridge. The butterfly feeling in the stomach was too much to eat a great deal.

The chair of the summit was Karen Melonie Gould, who happens to live a few miles away from me in Chester. She is a very energetic and passionate lady around women in business.

Sarah Hopwood, international speaker and business consultant, opened the presentations for the second day. She spoke about having courage to make changes. It was good to listen and understand some of the reactions I have had in responses to changes in my life. One aspect that we both had in common was that we had been members of the PSA at some point.

Dr. Kathrin Brodowski, Head of Diabetes Portfolio management at Sanofi, then showed us how she has developed better networks for women. Her presentation was entitled ‘Boosting gender balance through women networks; Dream or reality’.

After the coffee break we heard from Alexandra Micu, managing partner at Talent Center in Romania. She spoke about ‘Investing in yourself may be the most profitable investment you ever make’. Several of her messages were on the same lines as mine. As a speaker, it is encouraging for other presentations to have a little of your topic in them too. We reinforce one another.

Then it was my turn to speak on ‘The importance of you – why self care is vital’. Once again the responses were very positive. Even one lady who was very moved explained afterwards that I had helped her. Another that I had taken away her fear of postnatal depression because I was a great example of recovery.

At the airport in Berlin

After a very rushed lunch and farewells I had to get a taxi and return to the airport. No visit to the Christmas markets for me!

It is a very rewarding feeling to know that you have positively impacted other people through your presentation. I do sincerely hope that at some point, whether now, or in the future that the delegates remember something I said and they choose to do something differently that has a beneficial outcome…. when the time will be right for them.

Thank you to the team at the Halcyon Group for the second invitation from them to speak overseas. My only regret was being unable to attend the whole event in Berlin. I prefer not to be a speaker who eats, speaks and leaves!

So I have shared this to encourage you with your goals and visions. If your passion and purpose really matter to you, keep on learning, be patient and keep believing that you will finally have a ‘this is it moment’ – when the time is right for you. What small step will you take today towards making it happen?

Elaine 🙂