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I was delighted to be invited to give a keynote presentation at the Nursing in Practice conference at Olympia, London on 6th September. My audience was around 450 nurses. It was my first talk of the autumn so a great ‘back to work’ start!

My main aim for the talk was to help the wide range of community and practice nurses in attendance to appreciate that although their role was not in midwifery or health visiting, that the impact of perinatal mental illness could be something they came in contact with.

Why? Because it is not just about the mother. Research shows us that the foetus can be affected; the infant may be; the existing children and partner can be impacted along with other family members and society as a whole. I shared my story then gave examples and references for more information. I also described some of the longer term impacts upon the mother, e.g. how her confidence can be affected for many years. I concluded with some tips on communication and encouraging people to share their thoughts and feelings. It was a delight to be back on a platform!

Marilyn Eveleigh, Nurse Advisor to Nursing in Practice, chaired the session, which seemed to be well-received.

At each break session I had a number of nurses come and tell me that I had opened their eyes for all members of families where there was a new baby. One was a school nurse who told me she had immediately thought of a child at her school who had been displaying some troubling behaviour following the arrival of a baby sister and was being judged as a ‘jealous sibling’ by some. She said she now felt she would go back with fresh eyes to find out what was really going on at home and to provide support as needed.

I am also humbled by the very personal stories that delegates take the time to come and tell me. Being able to empathise and listen is a true blessing and it feels an honour to be told I inspire.

There were many other talks throughout the day and on this occasion I stayed at my display table as people wanted to speak to me. There was also a large exhibition of companies with nurse-related products and services.

Some of those I spoke to included:

DermaSilk Therapeutic clothing  – their briefs may be useful for some women postnatally.

Belmatt Healthcare training  – offer a range of courses for healthcare professionals

Action for Children – who are currently recruiting foster carers. This is something I would consider if my lifestyle wasn’t so irregular. I might be too old as well!

I did go and sit in an excellent talk by Elaine Miller who is described as a ‘Pelvic Physiotherapist and Comedian’! What a brilliant talk on incontinence, entitled ‘Laugh, don’t leak: Incontinence isn’t funny’! She covered the incidence of incontinence and its impact on women’s lives; what advice to give to women, where to refer to and why. She has a great website at http://www.gussetgrippers.co.uk/.

Did you know that ‘1:3 women leak when they laugh/cough or sneeze. That’s a third of the women in your office, on your bus and in your home are sitting on incontinence pads. Which is a shame because 70-80% can be cured with physiotherapy.’

I remember a few years ago being at an event at the Perinatal Institute in Birmingham and listening to a talk by Mandy Williams about how many women had problems postnatally with incontinence and how many suffer in silence and unnecessarily. Read the report here. Elaine Miller said she had yet to see a book on pregnancy/birth that mentioned it. With a sense of pride I was thrilled later to show her that on page 29 of my second book ‘Another Twinkle in the Eye’ I do mention it!

Ironically they locked the main toilets at the venue before the end of the conference! I bet I wasn’t the only one who had a fast walk to their next destination!

If this is a problem for you – go and get it sorted! Let’s fight the myth that childbirth (even after a C-section) equates with possible incontinence.

I am hoping that Elaine will be able to come along to my next conference on ‘Contemplating another pregnancy after perinatal mental illness’ in Edinburgh on 22nd September. 

I congratulate the team at Nursing in Practice for a very well-organised and stimulating event. Thank you for inviting me and I hope that I am asked again! There are more of them around the country coming up and they are free to attend. Look for the next ones here.

It is great to be amongst such caring people!

If you need someone to care and are looking for an online support, take a look at https://www.betterhelp.com/start/

Elaine 🙂