My Blog

Have you ever pictured yourself somewhere and finally got there? Ever since I began speaking and writing about postnatal depression and campaigned for better awareness and services, I have sensed that one day I would be in the Houses of Parliament.

On Monday 9th July that vision became reality.

Read why I was invited in my previous blog

I openly admit that I love the dressing up and opportunities that my purpose presents to me. Yet I remain focused on helping others. Just before I got ready for my train this morning I checked my messages. There was a tweet that caught my eye – ‘I survived postpartum psychosis but my son did not’. I followed the link and as I read one of the most heart breaking blog entries I have ever come across, the tears flowed. If ever you question that postnatal illness is a major condition, I strongly suggest you read this story.

Yes I got better and I could walk away. Reading stories like that inspire me further.

Once on the train I read a book called ‘Postnatal Depression: The Essential Guide (Need 2 Know)’ .I met the authors’ parents when I was on holiday last year with my parents. By the side of a swimming pool we had made the connection and Catherine and I have been emailing since. We shall meet on Wednesday this week for the first time. Catherine also had suffered from PND, felt that she would have liked more information at the time, and subsequently wrote this book.

It is very easy to read; full of sensible and practical suggestions for a new mother and those supporting her. If you need a ‘guide’ that you can pick up and dip into, then I recommend Catherine’s book.

Once at Euston I began to feel inspired and excited! I got the tube to Westminster station and followed the signs for the Houses of Parliament, clutching my invitation. At the first entry a policeman directed me to Cromwell Gardens.  There I was allowed into the path and grounds, alongside a ‘ceramic’ garden display. I was given a visitor lanyard; posed for a photo which was then attached to it; my bag went through a security machine, then that was it! I was in the Houses of Parliament.

After a few paces you are directed right and the vast Westminster Hall   greets you. I was instantly in awe as I realised that was where one of the Jubilee events had been held. It’s cold!  Stone floors that have been walked on over the centuries give it a great sense of history. There are spectacular stained glass windows at each end. I was directed to walk up the sweeping staircase at the far end and turn left.

This leads into an opulent corridor, called St Stephen’s Hall.    Photographs are prohibited. It dawned on me that I was walking in the footsteps of royalty and politicians from many, many years. I was awe struck!

Then there it was! ‘My’ vision! Have you ever seen news reports on the television that are clearly filmed inside the Houses of Parliament?  Where you can see stone statues and stained glass windows, with people occasionally wandering by in the background? It’s called the Central Lobby   – and I was in it!

I was early for the Maternity Awards  event so was invited to sit and wait. It felt surreal! There was a camera crew filming interviews with some MPs – no, I didn’t wave!  There was a plethora of ‘different’ people. Some had ‘first time in here’ awe about them, dawdling and taking in the magnificence ; others scurried as if they were in a supermarket, with the familiarity of it being their workplace; groups of school children were guided around wearing day-glow tabbards; security staff and policemen  were around. Some people were dressed smart enough for a wedding; some in smart business suits and even a few that would have fitted in on a beach! There were a range of different cultures too. People watching at it’s very best. There is even a Post Office in the Central Lobby!

I sat and reflected how amazing life can be. In Catherine’s book she wrote ‘ I don’t regret a moment of my illness. It turned me into the new and improved person I am today’.

I feel differently. I do wish I had been well when I had Dominic. I will always feel robbed of those precious times. I do accept that the illness has formed and shaped my future and influenced the choices and opportunities that have unfolded since. Through those I am able to inform, educate and support others with the aim to maximise their happiness as parents. That is certainly not a regret!

At four o’clock I joined the queue into the Members’ dining room, which overlooks the Thames. The room had tables around it with sandwiches, drinks and scones. I was tempted to bring an embossed Houses of Parliament napkin as a souvenir! The food was served on white bone china with the portcullis emblem on it.

Initially I didn’t know anyone. I thought back to my early days of business networking when I would almost charge at people with my business cards! I thought back to the lessons Will Kintish taught me and chatted to people on their own. It was good to listen to their roles and put postnatal depression on their radar.

The room filled up and my day was made with a big hug! Back in 2000 I was a speaker at a nurse’s conference in London, as described in the final chapter of my book. One of the other panel members was Judith Ellis. A little later we met again at another event and went for a morning swim before the conference began. We stayed in touch and Judith wrote the foreword for my book whilst she was Chief Nurse at Great Ormond Street hospital. Over the years we have met in London from time to time.

Last week I was prompted by a number of student midwives and health visitors to say that they were shocked at how little maternal mental health was covered on their courses. They suggested I contacted the Nursing and Midwifery Council  to plea for it to have more focus.

I had a look around their site and discovered that Judith is now their current chair! I emailed her and we realised that she too was a guest today. It was fantastic to see her again!  We had a catch up of our lives and she introduced me to several people.

Belinda Phipps, CE of nct  and one of the sponsors of the event, addressed the room, sharing the vision of the charity to be reaching 20 million families by 2020.

Andrew Lansley,  the current MP for Health, spoke to the assembled audience and a range of Awards were presented for different innovations in midwifery. It was great to see dedicated and hard working teams given accolades.

I was very tempted to confront Andrew Lansley and demand action on better services for Maternal Mental Health! As a guest of nct I decided against it – this time! It has whet my appetite to knock on his door though.

At 6 pm prompt we were asked to clear the room as it had to be set for the Members’ dinner (or tea, if you are a Northerner!).

With that I joined the queue for the ladies – no, the toilet roll isn’t embossed!

I wandered back through the Central Lobby and soaked it up again. I walked back through St Steven’s Hall and resisted the temptation to buy an expensive souvenir!

At the top of the stairs of Westminster Hall I did ask a tourist to take a photograph to prove I had been there….

Back into the London air I took the view of Big Ben and the London Eye from the doorway of Westminster Hall.

And also asked a lady to take another shot …

Back on the train, I wrote this up. Was I glad I went? Of course I was! Will I go back? Yes, I shall. I need to work on how. The ‘why’ remains – to improve early parent and childhood for families affected by poor mental health. If my role can help prevent the tragedy like I read this morning, then long may it continue.

Next time perhaps I won’t be as giddy over an embossed napkin!

Thank you ‘nct’  and Pampers  for my invitation and congratulations to the worthy winners.

Elaine

http://www.greatvine.com/elaine-hanzak