My Blog

Have you ever been bullied or even been a bully?

I think it can be one of the worst forms of ‘torture’. In retrospect I now realise that at one stage in my life I allowed myself to be bullied. My usual sunny disposition was squashed and instead I became a BMW – a bitter, moaning whinger. It appeared that I could do no right and so I began to believe it. Worse still my negativity and disillusion spilled over to the rest of my team and to my home life. I would wake in the early hours worrying; I would rehearse what I wanted to say to the bully, but never did; I would replay conversations I had with the bully and what I wish I had said but never dared to at the time; I would feel that my car door was jammed because I did not want to get out and face the bully. My sickness record was ridiculous. Eventually I left and it took a long while to rebuild my confidence.

In recent years I have learnt far more about personal development and a small daydream I have sometimes is about how differently I would react to that person now. I now realise that they did not have the right to ruin my day (and nights!) and that I could have reacted differently and sort help and information in dealing with it.

I was prompted to think of those days when I found this article on bullying  http://www.onlinemba.com/blog/9-signs-theres-an-office-bully-in-your-midst/

As the years have gone by I have been amazed and horrified at the number of adults who have told me about how they have been bullied. Even the biggest, loudest, most confident men have been targets. I am shocked by how others have become mentally unwell as a result and even lost not only their self-esteem but ultimately their jobs as a result.

I am very, very happy in my current self-employed role. The only person who can bully me is myself! I do have to remember to be kind to myself though too.

So if you are at the receiving end of bullying I strongly suggest that you take action to stop it happening. The more you put up with it, the worse it feels.

Here are some suggested websites:-

Bully Online

NHS Choices

Life after adult bullying  – have a look at many more links there

I also ask you respectfully to consider if you are demonstrating characteristics of a bully. If so please consider your actions. Perhaps you may have sadness or weakness in your own life but what is the point of making another person miserable too? Sort yourself out!

In the long run though I have to say that the people in my life who have bullied me have actually done me favours! Due to their behaviour I have gone on to be a much stronger person and my life continues to open into huge opportunities and possibilities. I can now consider their tactics and smile.

What or who will make you smile today?

Elaine

www.hanzak.com

http://www.greatvine.com/elaine-hanzak